OPINION: Puppies are full of it — no, really

 I spent months scrolling through rescue sites, humane societies and Dog pages on Facebook. I was sad and I thought a puppy would surely fix every single one of my problems.

 I grew up around dogs, so the idea of adopting one of my own when I moved out, I knew I wanted a furry companion.

I debated for a while if I wanted to buy or rescue. I live with a two-year-old, so the possibility of adopting an older, potentially aggressive, dog was a big issue for me and my roommate.

So I decided to buy from a family who had an accidental litter — or at least that is what I was told. I adopted the cutest little mini Australian Shepherd with blue eyes, named Selah, and she was so worth it.

I mean this when I say that — I do enjoy having Selah around, I promise. I assure everyone that she will not be ending up at a shelter or on the side of the road — she is loved.

She was cute and calm, until about five minutes into the drive home — licking the windows, running into my lap and pooping on my backseat was only the beginning. Ever since it has been non-stop craziness.

That was two months ago.

Since then, she has only gotten stronger and crazier. But we have a system. When I get home, I will let her out to go to the bathroom; she will come back inside and eat her food. Then, we have to go back outside for her to poop. It’s great. We love schedules.

My dog really loves to poop. It’s frustrating, but I knew that when I signed up to take care of her.

One time I was having a friend over for the first time. Naturally, I wanted them to not think of me as a slob, so I vacuumed. This scared my dog and she pooped everywhere — total failure.

Now, some might be reading this and totally judging me for being upset with her for pooping. I know she can’t help it, but it is reasonable to be upset at the moment. Nobody loves cleaning up after their pet.

To add to it, last week, I was bringing her home from the vet and she hopped into the back seat. We go to the Banfield pet hospital and to PetSmart all of the time, sometimes just for treats or to get groomed.

I didn’t think anything of her adventure, as she is pretty adventurous until I smelled something awful. My dog had pooped in my car, and to make it worse, on one of my books. So basically, she knew what she was doing. I could see it in her eyes. She was so in the doghouse for that one.

I am now convinced she is probably doing these things on purpose, and I joke that she is evil because of it, but I mean this in the best way possible. I’m not the only one — just look at Stephen King’s Instagram. Her lack of wanting to cuddle or show love in the same ways maybe Beagles or Labs do was concerning at first.

But she shows her love for me in different ways. She gets really excited to see me, always follows me around and she is always really proud when she learns a new trick.

I always tell her she is a good girl and give her lots of belly rubs when she goes to the bathroom outside. I know that positive reinforcement is really important when it comes to training.

I have bought Selah toys, treats, balls, special blankets and more. We even subscribed to Bark Box. She is so spoiled and honestly, it’s probably my fault that she goes to the bathroom at unfortunate times. She is learning and she is a puppy, after all.

So now it’s out of the bag, my dog is strange and full of it. Anyone who knows me understands I say this in good humor. I love my dog and I brag on her almost any chance I get — I know my coworkers are tired of the pictures, stories and bragging.

So, I encourage anyone wanting to adopt, please know what you are getting yourself into. They may be perfect little balls of fluff, but know that they take time and patience. When the go and gets tough, and trust me it will, remember why you adopted in the first place.



(4) comments

Erin Shamley

You really should have looked into the breed you were getting. Australian Shepherds are working dogs that have very active minds. They need a job, or a lot of activities, both mental and physical, to keep them from getting bored and wreaking havoc on a home. It doesn't sound like the breed is a good fit for you, which is a shame because it sounds like she's going to end up at a shelter. A lot of good dogs like that get dropped at shelters because uninformed owners get overwhelmed and give up on training them.

Your dog needs discipline and a routine, especially. I would highly recommend kennel training to curb the accidents (A seatbelt or a crate in the car too.) Look into it. She isn't pooping to spite you. She has no regular schedule and hasn't figured out where it is acceptable to do so because nobody has taught her. TRAIN her. It is your responsibility, not hers!

You can't blame the dog because you didn't do your research before getting a pet. Make it right and be good to that dog. She'll be good to you too.

Miranda Lintzenich

Hi there! Thanks for the input. This piece was meant as a joking piece about the downsides to owning a dog. It comes after the recent talk of Stepen King referring to his dog Molly as the "Thing of Evil." I promise I love my dog very much! I've updated the story, so you should give it a read! Everyone who knows me knows I care about her.

Chelsea Mettler

I promise you it will get better! My family just got a Pit puppy around Christmas and he was pooping a lot...every 3-4 hours. He was and still is making a mess of the home with toys, chews and potty accidents (well not so much potty accidents, he is practically potty trained. We got him at 7 weeks and started potty training ASAP, he is around 15-16 weeks now). It comes with the territory but it will get better with training and playtime!

Miranda Lintzenich

Thank you! Puppies are a ton of work, but so worth it, as stated above. I hope you are loving on your little guy!

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